Just Another Lie
by happyteddybear
Summary: This lie couldn’t make it to her lips. House had been able to teach her to lie to others. To lie to Cuddy, to lie to patients, to lie to patients’ families. But what he hadn’t been able to teach her was how to lie to herself.
1. The Lie She Couldn't Tell

Hmm… I'm thinking about trying to write a multi-chaptered fic and I sort of have an idea of what I want this to look like if I do extend it. You have been warned though: if further chapters are added, they will probably ultimately be very fluffy and at least slightly out of character on House's part. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, and this story will probably be a clear indication of that. ^^ Anyway, I hope you like what's here so far. =] Let me know if it's worth continuing, and as always, thanks for reading and reviewing!

*****

She couldn't do it. She couldn't answer what should have been a very simple question. _"Are you in love with House?"_

The answer should have come easily enough. The answer should have been no. But that would have been a lie.

Everybody lied though. She had told plenty of lies in her lifetime, and she had graduated from the Gregory House School of Deception with honors. But this lie couldn't make it to her lips. House had been able to teach her to lie to others. To lie to Cuddy, to lie to patients, to lie to patients' families. But what he hadn't been able to teach her was how to lie to herself.

It was been said that if you told a lie enough times it would become true. This lie in particular was impossible for her to breathe because she knew deep inside that she didn't even want it to be true. She didn't want to not be in love with House. All she did want was to be happy.

She thought that telling Chase to go through with his proposal was the right thing to do. She thought that the promise of marrying the man who she knew was utterly devoted to her would make her happy. And it did, in a superficial, fleeting way. Seeing the love on his face made her happy for the wonderful five seconds during which she was in his arms. But after taking a step back (literally and figuratively), facing the realization that she couldn't love him the same way made her even more miserable than before.

"_Are you in love with House?"_ She should have said no. It would have been just another lie. But that was just it. Everything she had ever said about being over House was just another lie. This marriage was going to be built on a whole series of them.


	2. The Answer He Couldn't Give

The knock on his door jerked him away from his focus on the TV. Unwilling to move and take the ten steps to his door, he called, "Let yourself in!"

A second passed and the knock sounded again.

He rolled his eyes and pulled himself off the couch. "Dammit Wilson, you should know better than to make a cripple move -- "

The end of his sentence died in his throat when he opened the door to find not the light brown eyes of his best friend but the intense green ones of his former immunologist.

He blinked and walked back into his living room, leaving the door open in a silent invitation for her to come in. She took it and stepped tentatively into his door frame.

She bit her lip and tried to figure how to begin. "Chase and I are engaged."

He was silent for a moment and then guessed dryly, "And you're here to invite me to the wedding, knowing that I will not come but wanting to ask out of courtesy anyway?"

She took a deep breath and explained hesitantly, unsure of how to tell House exactly why she was at his place instead of at her fiancé's. "No, I'm here to… to figure out if I'm making a mistake."

She continued slowly, "There were a lot many mistakes that I shouldn't have made, a lot of chances that I shouldn't have let pass me by. I've had regrets. I wanted to make sure that marrying Chase wouldn't be another one." She looked into his eyes and had to remind herself not to drown in blue. She asked, "I just need to know… can you give me a reason not to marry Chase?"

His blue eyes never wavered from her face and he answered roughly, "No."

She looked away, not trusting herself to remain composed in front of him for much longer. She swallowed and nodded to herself. Her "okay" was barely audible, and she let herself out of his apartment. "Goodbye, House," she whispered.

He drew in a sharp breath and limped back to his couch, tightening his grip around the beer bottle he had been holding. _"Goodbye, House."_ This was all too familiar to him. Five years ago she had been at his door, and five years ago he hadn't been able to say something that would make her stay. He should have done something different that night. He should have said something, should have told her not to go. At the very least, he should have shaken her hand. He didn't, and apparently five years after that night he still couldn't do what he most needed to.

Could he have given her a reason? All she asked for was one. He could have given her a thousand. Hundreds of reasons but none of them made it to his lips. The lie came reflexively instead.

It was just another lie and it was for her own good. Still, this particular lie left a bitter taste in his mouth because this wasn't just another lie to another idiotic clinic patient. This was a lie to Cameron, and a lie to himself.

He forced himself to loosen his death grip on the now empty bottle but didn't bother to remember to maintain any grip on the bottle at all. He vaguely heard the dull thud it made when it hit the floor, but with the state he was in he wouldn't have noticed if it had shattered into dozens of sharp fragments or if it had decided to spontaneously combust into flames. He put his head in his hands and left it there for a very long time.


	3. The End to the Lies

Agh, I'm not entirely happy with this, but I figured that this would probably be the best way to end it. I think I lose interest in my own stories if they're more than one chapter long, so I will probably not be attempting that again haha. Anyway, this is the last chapter so I hope you liked, and thank you for reading! ^^

Dammit. Another all too familiar situation. Standing outside of Cameron's door, tapping his cane nervously, wondering what the hell he was doing there and what he was going to say. He was going to get it right this time though, because he was pretty sure there wouldn't be another time after this.

He drew in a sharp breath and knocked on her door.

Unfortunately, she was not the blond haired figure that opened it for him. He was irritated by this new complication but realized that he should have expected that Cameron's fiancé would indeed be at her apartment. House glared at Chase, who looked back at him suspiciously. After a brief staring contest, Chase rolled his eyes and called, "Allison!" before retreating to the kitchen, where he could remain out of sight but within earshot of their conversation.

"What is it?" she asked as she walked around the hall, and she froze when she saw House in her doorframe.

He locked eyes with her and could tell that she was surprised and maybe even anxious. He tried to make words, any words at all, come to his lips. "You lied." He winced internally; probably not the best way to begin.

"Everybody lies," she said automatically, and he almost grinned. "What do you think I lied about?"

"When you quit, you said you would miss me. A few months ago, you said you didn't," he said simply. "You lied. Which time?"

Cameron let out a frustrated sigh. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing the answer, and she certainly didn't want Chase to hear it either. "Why does it matter what I said two years ago? House, I told you… I don't want to work for you anymore, I'm not in love with you, and I'm going to get married soon. And you couldn't give a reason not to."

His damaged blue eyes met her soft green ones, and Cameron could have sworn that she forgot to breathe.

"I… I lied too," he said. He looked anywhere but her, trying to figure out how to tell her what he needed her to know, how to take back all the lies and prevent this from becoming another one. "You asked me for a reason for a reason to not marry Chase. You're going to regret it because if you had such a hard time giving him a drawer, you definitely aren't going to give all of yourself." Cameron's heart skipped a beat. How did he even know about that? She shouldn't have been surprised that House would intrude on even hers and Chase's most personal issues, but she hated him for knowing about the drawer and hated herself for knowing that he was right.

"Because… I wasn't kidding about coming back for the sperm sample without the needle. Or about needing oral sex," he added as an afterthought. Cameron was mildly amused that at least one of his reasons was sexually suggestive; she might have given a weak laugh had she not been an emotional wreck.

He abandoned the pretense of humor though and then looked very agitated. "Because…" he searched her eyes desperately, trying to say something that would make her stay, something that would stop her from leaving him behind. "Because I kissed back," he whispered.

Cameron's eyes widened. She opened her mouth wordlessly but couldn't figure out what to say. _I'm sorry but I've moved on? That's not enough?_ She told herself to make up an excuse, but she knew that it would be just another lie. She would be lying if she pretended that she hadn't been hoping House had feelings for her. It was why she originally avoided Chase's proposal, why she asked House for a reason to stay even after she told Chase that she would marry him. And here House was giving her just the reason she needed. House didn't press her for a response and seemed to understand that she was in no shape to formulate a coherent one at the moment. He turned around abruptly and limped down the hallway.

Cameron couldn't move. She closed her eyes when she heard Chase walk up behind her. She twisted her engagement ring around her finger nervously, and she fought back the tears as she wordlessly placed it in Chase's hand with trembling fingers.

She forced herself to meet his eyes, and she hated herself for hurting him. He looked at her with eyes overwhelmed by hurt, anger, jealousy, and pain, and he said stiffly, "Take care of yourself."

_Take care of yourself._ So many things that he could have said to her, so many things that he _should_ have said to her, but he had to be Prince Charming up until the very end. She should have been the princess in his fairy tale. She should have loved him, should have made Tuesdays become the only day in her week. He was nice, he was charming, and he cared about her. But he wasn't House. And she couldn't marry him for the same reason that she couldn't move to Africa with Sebastian. Funnily enough, it had been Chase himself that gave her that reason four years ago. She might have laughed at the irony of it, but she had never been good at smiling through the tears. And the tears were freely falling now. "Robert… I – I'm so sorry," she managed in a voice that was broken by tears and barely audible.

He closed his eyes and said bitterly, "I know." He walked to the bedroom so that he could clean out his drawer and so that he wouldn't have to see the woman he loved walk out of his life. He turned around one last time and said before she left, "I thought Tuesdays could last forever. I'm sorry that the rest of your days of the week belong to him."

Cameron didn't have an answer because she knew he was right. She had hoped that Tuesdays would be enough too, but they never had been and would never be. She bit her lip and walked out of her apartment, finding House on the way to his car. She ran up to him and didn't know what to say. She didn't trust herself to form a complete sentence without completely breaking down at this point, and she wasn't sure she wanted to say anything if she could. She didn't want to break the moment with words, and House limped over to her and gave her a soft kiss. And she kissed back.

She knew that she would not be expecting another proposal anytime in the near future, if at all, and he knew that he would have to lower his walls if he didn't want to push her away again, but they both also knew that this was exactly what they wanted. Whatever this was, it wasn't going to be just another lie.


End file.
